Luke Online: Week Ending March 12

Where has Luke been online this week? Oh, only a little place called
My excellent amigo Evil Dave did a few fun calculations on the recent nuclear sub collision. If you don't know what I'm talking about, jesus, pal, whatever you're reading online are the wrong pages. He basically showed that even if the sub drivers were drunk, bored, steering at random and refusing to avoid anything smaller than a continent, they still wouldn't have collided anywhere near as fast as they did.

I helped out with the numbers because, honestly, simulating nuclear-equipped war vehicles as randomly moving pinballs is the kind of sentence I live just to be able to say. The results were picked up by The Numbers Guy of the Wall Street Journal.

Other stuff:

We've always assumed the inevitable robot attacks would be due to high digital-dickness quotient. It turns out that the electronic extermination of "the ones who rub each other for fun" will be revenge over our building robots specifically to torture them.
Exhibit A:

Exhibit B: Your nightmares tonight.

I also had a little bit of fun with Garry's DOOM, a mod which loads the very latest physics-simulating Source engine with all the original DOOM weapons. Did I have fun?

I describe this as fun, and people are too smart to disagree.

Yes. Yes, I did.

Plenty of fun over at the Daily Galaxy, including (but not limited to) liquid batteries, Cannibal Planets, Moonbase Building Robots, Antarctic Based Robots (so there is literally nowhere to go), and a new probe expected to find hundreds of Earth-a-likes. You know, moderately interesting stuff.

Finally, FoodConnect asked me to write about drinking on the run up to St Patrick's day. Finally, the job I was born for. My advice can be summed up as
though I did go into a few more words about it - alas, FoodConnect is family-friendly, so not enough of them were swearing to truly get across my feelings. For those who just have to have emerald alcohol on the day, I point out a couple of acceptable cocktails: the Heavenly and party-fuel Greenhouse Gas.