A few of the reasons Ireland is superior to France


  • Being a drinker makes you sociable and comfortable around the world. Being a wine drinker makes you a snob, automatically judge based on brand, location and age.
  • Ireland is famous for Guinness. France for Champagne. Think about how many people drink each, and why.
  • Thermonuclear fucking devices detonated by Ireland: 0
  • And when we do fuck something up we do it to ourselves, not on the opposite side of the planet in someone else's backyard.
  • Ireland may have been invaded to pieces (literally), but it never happened immediately after declaring our defenses utterly impregnable.
  • If Ireland had spawned an overseas city dedicated to outdoing its parent nation in every stereotype possible, it would be a beloved drinking destination, not a Canadian city of hyper-isolationist arrogantologists whose primary export is "ludicrous demands".
  • The Irish language is mercifully dead, and may be studied in peace by all who choose to. French still handicaps hundreds of millions worldwide, preventing them from easily communicating with over a billion English speakers. Even should they learn English, they are permanently disabled by a false notion of superiority.
  • The Irish have no word for "├ęcoeurant", because we don't complain that much.

2 comments:

David Curran said...

Allow me to retort
1. The french word for sex is not "ag boolin craicen" or "beating skin off each other"
2. french food is not boiling stuff for 12 hours so that teeth become a vestigial useless organ
David

bourgogne said...

complaining is so underrated.