The Story of a Young Gentleman and Some Dirty Girls

Mocking idiots online is a fair fraction of my job description, which is why I'm delighted to encounter an online hero instead.

Actors are paid millions to convey this level of emotion
He wasn't smart, and he wasn't thinking, and there is in fact a fair chance someone else had to turn the computer on for him. But he's the greatest gentleman I've ever encountered on YouTube. Read the story to find the best clash between a young fool and a big fat hidden asshole since Han Solo and Jabba the Hutt.

The Amazingly Bad Beer Breakfast Experiment

Beer for breakfast suggests an awful lot of problems, but those problems shouldn't be the actual beer. I sample the very worst brewing has to offer at ZUG, and actually end up soberer than when I started.

The CDC get to work with more appetizing bottles
Read what happens with Cannabis beer and the idiocy of Budd Light right now!

The Martini Madness Experiment

More mocking the laws of taste, both figuratively and orally, with The Martini Madness Experiment.

I made this then drank it. That is what's known as "Crime and Punishment."
I explain why James Bond is a pansy, endure a Bacontini, weaponize garlic and - purely by accident - find the best drink I've ever had. Enjoy.

Anatomical Acrostic All Dugg Up

Another article on the front page of Digg, because that's the kind of thing I do. This time it's one of my daily prank reports for ZUG, where graduating students played sexy word-games with the student newspaper, and Utah residents were apparently genuinely horrified to find that legal adults knew names for the things "Down There."


In Utah, this should have read "The Devil's Workmate" and been followed by three Hail Marys
Also featured in the article: THE WORST WORD IN THE WORLD!

Blizzard's Top 3 Pranks on World of Warcraft Players

I only wish I got as much money for taking the piss.

Pandaren delivery boys, WoW on the 2600, and drunken collectibles over at ZUG! (Then Reddit.)

Twitter Swamps Idiots (instead of being swamped BY them, for once)

Twitter's torrential outpouring of insanity'n'inaty was finally put to good use when they drowned out a Westboro Baptist Church protest. If you don't know who the WBC, the Jeopardy question is "Which insane scumbags protest at funerals for free publicity?"

Read all about it right here.

Cat Pisses on Peyton, Bets $50 on Saints

My continuing paid psychological breakdown disguised as a writing career passed an important landmark this week, when I gave my cat $50 and asked him to bet on the Superbowl.

This cat got scratch

Along the way he battles dream interpretation, disproves fortune telling, and enters an all-or-nothing Quarterback Cagematch. Go read it, and if you're reading this Saints, go win so I look slightly less crazy!

The Russian Traffic Porn Prank

Russian hackers achieve the impossible, and tune those mind-melting video billboards to something people actually want to watch.

Of course it was porn.

Go see, unless you're not into that. In which case the internet might not be for you. But Digg before you go!