Biker Body Map

Another image over at Cracked, explaining exactly how bikers appear to medical professionals, firefighters, and other people who know what happens when you create a flesh-asphalt boundary at 100 kph.

Robots In Crap Disguise

Before they had Michael Bay to disguise them as retarded golden shower enthusiasts, Transformers had to find their own terrible disguises. And they did! Head over to Cracked to read all about it.

If this looks like ANYTHING to you, wake up before Cthulhu arrives.

Top-Notch Tazings

Do you like reading about the electrocution of idiots? Of course you do! Get on over to Dial-a-Phone and read about sheep-zapping, bringing a lightning-bolt to a knife fight, and our new electrical overlords.

Tattoos Explained By Location

Another Cracked article, explaining tattoo locations and some common choices. Where by "common" I mean "stupid."

Go, enjoy, and Digg if you're a Digger. THIS I COMMAND!

UPDATE: Apparently my commands do not mess around - the piece is now #1 in all Digg topics, meaning I win at Internet today. Kinda wishing I commanded cheerleaders now.
UPDATE-ER: All Farked up too:

SUMMARY: I made a thing, and the entire internet apparently decided it was the best thing. If you're reading this page because you're thinking of hiring me, I'm available at reasonable freelance rates and you should probably get right on that.

GameSpy GO!

My first article is up over at GameSpy, where I poke at pointless controllers and there's not one Power Glove, Activator, or that goddamn Japanese arse-poking game to be seen. Because I write new stuff.
Go! Enjoy! Digg, if you're into that sort of thing!

The iPhone Explained!

I take a long, hard look at the trendy Apple product over at Cracked. Amazingly I don't end up dancing, sillhouetted, or sipping a double-soy emascuccino.

Getting a cat together

(Not based on anyone living, dead, or from Ireland and cursing a feline for chewing through his cables.)

Alcohology: A Message For Alberta Pure

Dear Alberta Pure,
You can either claim to be "Triple Distilled For the Ultimate Purity", or you can sell 1.75 litre plastic bottles of vodka at hobo rates, but you really have to make up your mind.

And could you pass on a message to your target market? "Claiming you'll spend it on food is a good strategy, and standing outside the liquor store saves time, but you have to choose one or the other."